Hello!
First things first - lets pretend that it hasn't been since last May that I blogged. Lets gloss right over that and just get cracking with 2017 shall we? Awesome! You are so understanding. I like you!
On New Year's Eve I posted my end of the year post with a promise that I'd be back the following day with a blog post. Today is not the following day. I am already winning at a successful blogging year. Can you guess what my resolution was this year? It only took me less than 24 hours to choke on my "I'm gonna blog more!" war cry that I shouted out to no one at all as 2016 came to a close. As many of you probably did...I sat with myself (She is great company!) and asked myself some questions (Dear me y'all...she talks too much!) I took stock of the year that passed and looked forward to the year ahead with all the ideas and plans and regrets that everyone else has. But while most people like to sweep the old year out the door without much thought I always like to look back on it and find the good parts. At the beginning of 2016 I asked people what they liked about themselves in 2015. Here's what I know about 2016 as it ended...nobody liked it. I'm not sure that I've heard many people say that their 2016 was amazing. If yours was then please let me know. Mostly I've only established that people want their money back! Last year was not the right fit for anyone! So now we're here at 2017 and I'm asking you once again to pull something positive out of the year you're leaving behind. I think this year's question was a stumper. I asked what about 2016 made you proud? I'm still waiting for your answers. I sincerely want to celebrate you! I also promised my own answer so here it is...
This year I forgave. I always thought I was great at this one. Forgiveness came easy for me. Or should I say that EASY forgiveness came easy for me. The HARD forgiveness though...turns out I was not so good at that. At the beginning of 2016 when I did some self examining with the Lord...I was made aware of some deep hurt and deep unforgiveness that I had been doing a great job at burying and building on top of until all the things I was building began to shift and splinter and crack. I was building on a false foundation and the walls that we build on unforgiveness are never meant to last. All I knew was that I could no longer hold onto the deep hurt that I had been safekeeping and I could no longer allow the relationship that had so suffered from the hurts of the past to go unhealed. So without announcing it to anyone...without any fanfare...I got very serious with myself and my tender, faithful, very present God and I let go. I offered forgiveness that I had no right to withhold and I asked for it in return...and I received it with the love and grace that only a father can give. And I am here to tell you that the relationship that I thought was unable to ever be healed now bursts with a newness of life that I thought was unattainable! (That's a whole other amazing testimony to be told some day!) Do you need to do some HARD forgiving? Can I encourage you to give it a go this year? I know its not easy but I'm telling you that it is worth it. YOU are worth it.
2016 was the year I let go. 2017 is still a mystery to me but I'm open to the possibilities that it has to offer. I don't know what 2017 holds for you either...I'm just excited to see what you do with it. And I'm already so proud of you for it!
Rooting for you,
Keri
Monday, January 2, 2017
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Terrible Choices...
Hello Lovely.
I have a confession to make. Yesterday was a doozy...and I made some terrible choices. Follow me as I take you through them.
After a total of three whole hours of sleep the previous night I was completely uninterested when my alarm went off at 6:30 - so I stayed in bed until the last possible minute of needing to get out and get myself in gear. That decision not only left me scrambling to get ready for work but also completely stole away any time that I would have had to hang out with Jesus before I started my day. Terrible choice numero one!
Being completely over the day before it even started wasn't just an internal struggle. My outside showed it! I let my hair do whatever it wanted to do and boy was it angry with my decision. The sheer thought of foundation and powder and eyeliner and mascara and all of the things stressed me out so I opted for nothing. When I surveyed my clothing options for the day I decided that the obvious outfit choice of the day should be the one that made me look the worse. I was on a roll! Terrible choices two, three, and four!
At that point I had no choice but to venture out into my day and friend....that is where things got really ugly.
When given the choice between smiles or eye rolls I chose eye rolls every single time. When I was faced with the option of complaining or silence you best believe I opened these unglossed lips and let the world have it! When I saw something online that didn't make someone look like their best self...i forwarded it on to someone with a snarky comment instead of just going on about my day. And in my ugliest moment...when faced with engaging someone in conversation that could have brightened their day and made some sort of impact...I forgot that she was also created in my Father's image and I slammed a window closed in her face. That's right friends...instead of showing them Jesus...I showed them the jerkiest part of Keri. Terrible choices five through a hundred.
Where scripture tells me to be kind (Eph 4:32)...i chose rudeness. Where scripture tells me to use my words to build up (Eph 4:29)...I chose to tear down. "Let your light shine before men..." (Matt 5:16) Uhhhh yeah about that...I threw a lampshade right over that sucker!
Have you ever done this? Have you ever ended your day like me? Realizing that you were definitely the party pooper instead of the praiser?
I've got great news! Choices are completely up to us. The same me that chose ugly is the same me that can scrap that junk and choose joy! I've got even better news....The same Jesus that loves me when I'm a bright shining mirror ball of His love is also the same Jesus that loves me when I'm less than lovely!
Lamentations 3:22-23 says "The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning"
His love never ends even on my worst day...and His mercies are new every morning...a new day to make better choices! So here's to each new day...and the hope that we all make the best choices.
Rooting for you,
Keri (maker of dumb choices, loved by Jesus anyway!)
I have a confession to make. Yesterday was a doozy...and I made some terrible choices. Follow me as I take you through them.
After a total of three whole hours of sleep the previous night I was completely uninterested when my alarm went off at 6:30 - so I stayed in bed until the last possible minute of needing to get out and get myself in gear. That decision not only left me scrambling to get ready for work but also completely stole away any time that I would have had to hang out with Jesus before I started my day. Terrible choice numero one!
Being completely over the day before it even started wasn't just an internal struggle. My outside showed it! I let my hair do whatever it wanted to do and boy was it angry with my decision. The sheer thought of foundation and powder and eyeliner and mascara and all of the things stressed me out so I opted for nothing. When I surveyed my clothing options for the day I decided that the obvious outfit choice of the day should be the one that made me look the worse. I was on a roll! Terrible choices two, three, and four!
At that point I had no choice but to venture out into my day and friend....that is where things got really ugly.
When given the choice between smiles or eye rolls I chose eye rolls every single time. When I was faced with the option of complaining or silence you best believe I opened these unglossed lips and let the world have it! When I saw something online that didn't make someone look like their best self...i forwarded it on to someone with a snarky comment instead of just going on about my day. And in my ugliest moment...when faced with engaging someone in conversation that could have brightened their day and made some sort of impact...I forgot that she was also created in my Father's image and I slammed a window closed in her face. That's right friends...instead of showing them Jesus...I showed them the jerkiest part of Keri. Terrible choices five through a hundred.
Where scripture tells me to be kind (Eph 4:32)...i chose rudeness. Where scripture tells me to use my words to build up (Eph 4:29)...I chose to tear down. "Let your light shine before men..." (Matt 5:16) Uhhhh yeah about that...I threw a lampshade right over that sucker!
Have you ever done this? Have you ever ended your day like me? Realizing that you were definitely the party pooper instead of the praiser?
I've got great news! Choices are completely up to us. The same me that chose ugly is the same me that can scrap that junk and choose joy! I've got even better news....The same Jesus that loves me when I'm a bright shining mirror ball of His love is also the same Jesus that loves me when I'm less than lovely!
Lamentations 3:22-23 says "The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning"
His love never ends even on my worst day...and His mercies are new every morning...a new day to make better choices! So here's to each new day...and the hope that we all make the best choices.
Rooting for you,
Keri (maker of dumb choices, loved by Jesus anyway!)
Sunday, June 21, 2015
I have three dads...
You read that right. I have three dads. I have three dads....and Father's Day is still a struggle. There...I said it. Sometimes we just don't say things enough. I think that must be one reason why our testimonies are so powerful. We finally say something and then maybe someone else realizes they aren't the only ones feeling the way they do and gets some freedom from something we were too scared to say and then God gets the glory and the ole devil loses. I rambled. As I was saying, I have three dads: the original one, the one that raised me, and the One that chose me...
The Original:
I have an original dad. Some of you may not even know that. Some of you are probably only familiar with my daddy (the one who raised me). I don't really talk about my original dad all that much. I didn't grow up with any sort of relationship with him. The truth of the matter is that my original dad was a troubled man. He chose to not make good choices. Occasionally when I was old enough to make informed decisions about him I would try to maintain some sort of relationship with him. It never worked out. That makes me sad. Like I said...he was troubled. I never really needed him as a dad because I had a dad (more on him later) but I would have had room in my life and in my heart for him. If he would have chosen me... The thing is that I'm not sure that in his mind, in his troubles if he was capable of choosing anything other than whatever was going on in there. And the sad end to the story is that he's gone now. I always envisioned a day somewhere in the future when he'd be OK and we'd be able to exist in the same world. Not necessarily as father and daughter but as...something. I never wanted our story to go the way it did. I never wanted to get a call from my uncle telling me that my original dad died...alone...in an abandoned building. I wish he would have made better choices. I wish that his choices had included me. I often say that it took his death to make me feel like his daughter. Funny how that works right? I used to refer to him as "the sperm donor". I don't anymore. While I still don't need him as a dad...I choose to honor that he was my first one. I choose to be appreciative of the part he played in getting me here. I choose to believe that he was not his illness. And I still choose to believe that had his life not ended the way it did somewhere down the road there would have been a space for us to exist together. I think if he was capable of that...he would have chosen it.
The One That Raised Me:
Oh boy...the one that raised me...that's my Daddy! There's never going to be a day in my life that I am not thankful for the love that my Dad has given and still gives me. I'm sure he didn't realize that he was getting a package deal when he met my mom yet he embraced me with the love of a father. I'm so thankful to him for that. I'm so thankful to him for loving me and raising me and most importantly for introducing me to the love of my Heavenly Father. Its my dad that made sure my I was in church long before I ever wanted to be there. He did not have to love me but he did. He did not have to raise me but he did. There's a special appreciation in my heart for men that raise children that they did not make. I saw it first hand. Legend has it that I used to fluctuate between calling him Dad and Dane...until he took me aside and told me that I could call him one or the other, whichever I chose, but he really hoped I chose Dad. I did. I chose Dad...and never looked back. I'm so blessed to have grown up with the love of a mother and a father when things could have gone a completely different way. He chose me....until He didn't. That is the truth of the matter. I do not at all want to hurt anyone's feelings. And want the record to show that I love my dad very much! But these are the facts. One day my dad chose something...someone else. He left. To say that I was shattered is an understatement. I was blown to pieces. A girl should never have to watch her dad drive away in a uhaul truck. Everything was turned upside down.I have since found my way back to right side up...mostly. Thank you JESUS. I love my dad. I love him. He is still my dad. I know that he loves me...he tells me often. I believe that he is my dad for a reason...that God gave him to me especially. I call the original dad "original" because he is not my real dad. The man that raised me...that's my real daddy. He did not have to love me...but he did. He does. Like I said...i was blown to pieces. Sometimes the pain of not being chosen (especially by someone who always chose you) just blows you to pieces. Today I'm OK...we are OK. But I'd be lying if I said that I didn't still find pieces that I thought I'd gathered up long ago. Admitting these things does not make you weak, it makes you healing! Moving along...
The One Who Chose Me:
I keep bringing up the word "chosen". I think its important. I don't know what its like to be a man or a son (though I suspect that also want their fathers to choose them). I can only speak about what its like to be a woman and a daughter. As a woman I don't want to just be loved, I want to be chosen. I think I know the reason for this. I think its because of my Father. My heavenly Father. He didn't just love me but He chose me. If the design of my relationship with Him is supposed to be a mirror of my relationship with my earthly dad...then it makes sense that I would want to be chosen. After all...God chose me. He didn't just love me but He chose me and He called me as His own. He is the perfect Father. In His perfect love I am chosen, I am loved, I am safe, I am home. I never have to worry about him leaving me. He just does not work that way. I am so thankful for that.
Dear sweet princess chosen daughter of God, I don't know how your relationship is with your earthly father. I hope that it is full of love and warmth and affirmation. I hope that you feel chosen time and time again. If you don't...then I hope that you can find your way into the lap of your Father. He's already chosen you...long before you ever chose Him. He knew you before you were even formed and loved you so much that He went through with His plan to create you. All while hoping that one day you'd choose Him back. You are so precious. I hope you know that. Being a dad must be hard work. Give yours a bigger hug today. Let him know you appreciate him. Let him know that you love him and that you need him and that you're sure he can beat up all the other dads on the playground ( my dad likes to hear that haha) And if you're a dad reading this...Happy Father's Day! Dad's are awesome. Mine sure is! Maybe if you have a second...just as small one today or tomorrow or sometime...be sure look your daughter(or son) in the eye...let her know that you see her...that she is loved and that she is chosen The simple fact of the matter is that you really do set the stage for how we're gonna allow others to treat us. Teach us well!
Happy Father's Day.
Rooting for you,
Keri
The Original:
I have an original dad. Some of you may not even know that. Some of you are probably only familiar with my daddy (the one who raised me). I don't really talk about my original dad all that much. I didn't grow up with any sort of relationship with him. The truth of the matter is that my original dad was a troubled man. He chose to not make good choices. Occasionally when I was old enough to make informed decisions about him I would try to maintain some sort of relationship with him. It never worked out. That makes me sad. Like I said...he was troubled. I never really needed him as a dad because I had a dad (more on him later) but I would have had room in my life and in my heart for him. If he would have chosen me... The thing is that I'm not sure that in his mind, in his troubles if he was capable of choosing anything other than whatever was going on in there. And the sad end to the story is that he's gone now. I always envisioned a day somewhere in the future when he'd be OK and we'd be able to exist in the same world. Not necessarily as father and daughter but as...something. I never wanted our story to go the way it did. I never wanted to get a call from my uncle telling me that my original dad died...alone...in an abandoned building. I wish he would have made better choices. I wish that his choices had included me. I often say that it took his death to make me feel like his daughter. Funny how that works right? I used to refer to him as "the sperm donor". I don't anymore. While I still don't need him as a dad...I choose to honor that he was my first one. I choose to be appreciative of the part he played in getting me here. I choose to believe that he was not his illness. And I still choose to believe that had his life not ended the way it did somewhere down the road there would have been a space for us to exist together. I think if he was capable of that...he would have chosen it.
The One That Raised Me:
Oh boy...the one that raised me...that's my Daddy! There's never going to be a day in my life that I am not thankful for the love that my Dad has given and still gives me. I'm sure he didn't realize that he was getting a package deal when he met my mom yet he embraced me with the love of a father. I'm so thankful to him for that. I'm so thankful to him for loving me and raising me and most importantly for introducing me to the love of my Heavenly Father. Its my dad that made sure my I was in church long before I ever wanted to be there. He did not have to love me but he did. He did not have to raise me but he did. There's a special appreciation in my heart for men that raise children that they did not make. I saw it first hand. Legend has it that I used to fluctuate between calling him Dad and Dane...until he took me aside and told me that I could call him one or the other, whichever I chose, but he really hoped I chose Dad. I did. I chose Dad...and never looked back. I'm so blessed to have grown up with the love of a mother and a father when things could have gone a completely different way. He chose me....until He didn't. That is the truth of the matter. I do not at all want to hurt anyone's feelings. And want the record to show that I love my dad very much! But these are the facts. One day my dad chose something...someone else. He left. To say that I was shattered is an understatement. I was blown to pieces. A girl should never have to watch her dad drive away in a uhaul truck. Everything was turned upside down.I have since found my way back to right side up...mostly. Thank you JESUS. I love my dad. I love him. He is still my dad. I know that he loves me...he tells me often. I believe that he is my dad for a reason...that God gave him to me especially. I call the original dad "original" because he is not my real dad. The man that raised me...that's my real daddy. He did not have to love me...but he did. He does. Like I said...i was blown to pieces. Sometimes the pain of not being chosen (especially by someone who always chose you) just blows you to pieces. Today I'm OK...we are OK. But I'd be lying if I said that I didn't still find pieces that I thought I'd gathered up long ago. Admitting these things does not make you weak, it makes you healing! Moving along...
The One Who Chose Me:
I keep bringing up the word "chosen". I think its important. I don't know what its like to be a man or a son (though I suspect that also want their fathers to choose them). I can only speak about what its like to be a woman and a daughter. As a woman I don't want to just be loved, I want to be chosen. I think I know the reason for this. I think its because of my Father. My heavenly Father. He didn't just love me but He chose me. If the design of my relationship with Him is supposed to be a mirror of my relationship with my earthly dad...then it makes sense that I would want to be chosen. After all...God chose me. He didn't just love me but He chose me and He called me as His own. He is the perfect Father. In His perfect love I am chosen, I am loved, I am safe, I am home. I never have to worry about him leaving me. He just does not work that way. I am so thankful for that.
Dear sweet princess chosen daughter of God, I don't know how your relationship is with your earthly father. I hope that it is full of love and warmth and affirmation. I hope that you feel chosen time and time again. If you don't...then I hope that you can find your way into the lap of your Father. He's already chosen you...long before you ever chose Him. He knew you before you were even formed and loved you so much that He went through with His plan to create you. All while hoping that one day you'd choose Him back. You are so precious. I hope you know that. Being a dad must be hard work. Give yours a bigger hug today. Let him know you appreciate him. Let him know that you love him and that you need him and that you're sure he can beat up all the other dads on the playground ( my dad likes to hear that haha) And if you're a dad reading this...Happy Father's Day! Dad's are awesome. Mine sure is! Maybe if you have a second...just as small one today or tomorrow or sometime...be sure look your daughter(or son) in the eye...let her know that you see her...that she is loved and that she is chosen The simple fact of the matter is that you really do set the stage for how we're gonna allow others to treat us. Teach us well!
Happy Father's Day.
Rooting for you,
Keri
Friday, May 29, 2015
No Permission Needed.
A few weeks ago in youth group Pastor Stephen said something that God has just been building on in my heart for you. Here's what he said:
"God made you just the way you are so that He can use you just the way He made you!"
Isn't that an awesome statement? God made YOU just the way YOU are so that He can use you just the way He made you! What am I getting at here? Let me be real...as I've gotten older I've really begun apologizing for the way God has made me. Do you do this too? I don't always apologize with words. Sometimes it's my hesitation to just be me, my sheepish look when someone makes a remark about my personality, or my quick action to shoot down any compliment coming my way that does the apologizing for me. I know that I'm different guys. I know that I'm sillier than most. I know that my ability to still be filled with wonder at everything around me is rare. I know that I laugh too loud and cry real easy and wear my expressions right on my face for everyone to see. And I know that all those things were intricately woven into my DNA by a God who loves me and you enough to create us with exactly what we need to survive this world and to reach it. Those things that you think are weird about me work really well at breaking the ice so that I can show Jesus to young people and I know this and I'm grateful for it. None of that changes the fact that I still stand here sometimes and desperately seek permission to be who I am. Do you get what I'm saying or am I just babbling? That's another thing...I babble. Sometimes I get too excited and talk too fast. It's one of my things.
What I'm saying is...Who are you? What's your things? I'm talking about the you that you know that God put together and the things He added for a purpose. And why in the world are you apologizing for it? Let me be clear...if you're a meanie or rude or harsh and you pass that off as "that's just how I'm made" then I think you should apologize. That's not how God made you. That's how this crazy world has built a wall around all the amazing things that God put there. Run to Jesus and let Him crash those walls down. The world is desperate for the God parts of you! It needs you to be EVERYTHING God made you!
And you don't need permission from anyone to be that. When He fearfully and wonderfully made you...He built the permission to be you right in! You came with permission! No apologies needed. Go be you!
Rooting for you,
Keri
Friday, March 20, 2015
Here we go...
If you're reading this blog...thank you. If you're reading this blog you're probably also a dear friend entertaining my request to " HEY! Check out my blog!" If you just happened upon this spot somehow randomly then I welcome you. I'm so excited about this new adventure which honestly isn't as new as it looks. A few years ago I created this space thinking that I'd have tons to say and share. I didn't. Well that's not true is it? I probably did have tons to say and share but like so many of us I allowed myself to be discouraged. When God shouted to me that He had a plan and a platform for me to love and encourage people I wholeheartedly believed Him. And when the enemy whispered to me that no one would listen or care I believed him too. Shocked? Please don't be. It happens to the best of us. In fact I'm positive its happened to you time and again. But the amazing thing is that if God says it then that's the final word...no matter how long it takes you to shut out the other voices and listen. So here I am....listening to God. I don't know what that's going to look like exactly but boy am I excited. I hope you join me. Soon I'll tell you what I hope you encounter on this blog. I'll even tell you why in the world I called it Clever Ran Away. But for now I'm just saying hi. I'm so excited to hang out with you here...
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